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Topic: Rams Weekly FF-specific Team Analyses (Read 1780 times) |
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Water Boy
# 468
"I'm comfortable with my alcoholism"- Nick Nolte
 
Posts: 29
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Re: Rams Weekly FF-specific Team Analyses
« Reply #2 on: Sep 16th, 2005, 2:43pm » |
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I wrote something about the Rams earlier this week, let me know what you think:
"What an exciting and enjoyable opening weekend for the professional football world. My only wish is that I would have been able to see some part of it. And I would have, but the stupid Shivones and stupid electric company made me go to a stupid job so I could pay their stupid bills. I wanted to sleep in, go to church, drink a beer, and watch fooyball all damn Sunday like every other red-blooded American man. But no, I'm an "adult" now. I have to be "responsible". I need to take "care of myself".
In that obnoxious vein, the theme for the week is immaturity. That's right, every team, player, and coach this week whose lack of discipline, lack of foresight, and general incompetence promoted failure will be lauded this week. The good guys get too much press as it is. Who cares who worked hard in the offseason to make themselves better, isn't that what you're supposed to do? Why should I care if so-and-so is a good teammate and family man, that kind of milk-toast crap is an easy gig. We're here to celebrate the dissapointingly mediocre today. We're not spending a second of our time on hungry-up-and-comers, today is all about we-know-we-should-be-better-but-we're-contented-where-we-arers.
Long-synonymous with bull-headed stupidity, the week's hero is St.Louis Rams coach (and offensive genius) Mike Martz. Remember the old expression about how Dean Smith was the only person capable of holding Michael Jordan to less than 20 points? In the late 90's and early 00's the same thing was true for 100 yards, Marshall Faulk, and coach Martz. The coach's pundits claimed that he wanted to prove his intellectual superiority by winning in a manner that could only be described as "the Mike Martz way of football". Now that he has 2 capable backs, the coach has decided to make himself twice as smart by forcing Marc Bulger throw twice as much (a whopping 56 times on Sunday). There's an old adage in football lore that says "you're a genius if it works, and a goat if it doesn't." I say that even though the Rams lost to the Niners on Sunday, future generations will surely benefit from the wisdom coach Martz is gracing us with. God bless you, coach!!! You're not a goat, you're a Ram, dammit!!!"
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If it came right down to it, I'd rather be Nick Nolte than Gary Busey.
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