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Topic: Texans FF-specific Team Report (Read 843 times) |
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Water Boy
# 468
"I'm comfortable with my alcoholism"- Nick Nolte
 
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Texans FF-specific Team Report
« on: Jul 27th, 2005, 10:21pm » |
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by Austin Patton
Time & Date of this Update (PST): 07:58 on Fri Oct 20 2005
News: Suspicious Minds?
Fantasy Football Slant:
There's something fishy, something funny, something altogether not right about the Texans' performance over the first third of the season.
Clearly, each Sunday's weekly performance has shown that the Texans deserve the title of "NFL's most inept franchise:2005", but there's something about the way they've earned the trophy that doesn't sit right with me.
Most years, there are two ways that a team ends up with a terrible record: either the franchise is in a rebuilding mode, and the talent level can't yet match up with the League's overall mean, or the team is beset by injuries in its veteran leadership and the youngsters give up on the coach.
Generally, the latter doesn't occur until half-way through a season of frustration, and the former should be apparent before the first snap of the preseason.
That's what makes these damn Texans so hard to figure out. They have playmakers enough that they should have won at least one game in spite of themselves.
Apparently what we have here is the first team in recent memory that gave up on both its coaches and its managment before the season even started. If that is the case, and with no reasonable interim coaching replacements in sight, all Texan fantasy prospects are hereby heresay.
Time & Date of this Update (PST): 17:58 on Fri Oct 06 2005
News: Thrown off the Horse?
Fantasy Football Slant:
Goodness Knows?!?
Warning!!! Warning!!! The Texans look like they're one more loss away from giving up on Dom Capers completely. Good News from all fantasy owners of David Carr, Andre Johnson, and Domanick Davis, bad news for the (few) owners of this Texans defense.
Why is this good news for your Texans playmakers? They won't give a f***, that's why. Whenever a talented player can refer back to simplistic playbook that he makes up by himself, his stats will always rocket, even if the score doesn't.
Maybe it doesn't happen this week for the Texans, but it will happen soon. I only hope I'm around to see it...
How should you rank your Texans? Who the hell knows, but here's my shot:
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Position-
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Player-
- | Projected Fantasy Role
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Comments
- | | QB | David
Carr | Low #2 | He spends more time on his back than your sister. | | RB | Domanick
Davis | Low #2 | The only Texan you should expect to get into the end-zone on a weekly basis. | | WR | Andre
Johnson | 3 | We'll see if week 2 of "We've got to get Andre more involved" is any more true than last week. | | WR | Jabar
Gaffney | Low #4 | Don't play him. | | TE | Mark
Bruener | #3 | A throw to him would be a surprise. | | TE | | PK | Kris
Brown | Low #1 | He'll kick the ball. | | D/ST | ---------- | #2 | They miss Sharper a lot more than they would've liked to admit in April. |
Time & Date of this Update (PST): 17:58 on Fri Sep 30 2005
News: Back in the Saddle Again
Fantasy Football Slant:
The Texans spent their off-week getting adjusted to new offensive coordinator Joe Pendry's system. This means that the 2005 Texans are still a work-in-progress. The onus of the new offensive scheme is to get Andre Johnson the ball more often. 7 catches for 38 yards is a terrible line for a single game, let alone two. Pendry has been working on limiting David Carr's audibles, forcing him to run the play that the coaches call. This means that the Texans will get the ball downfield more often, and everybody's numbers will look better as a result.
On Sunday, we'll see if this new scheme works.
How to play your Texans:
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Position-
- | -
Player-
- | Projected Fantasy Role
- | -
Comments
- | | QB | David
Carr | Low #2 | It looks like the coaches don't trust him too much. Fantasy owners shouldn't either. | | RB | Domanick
Davis | Low #2 | Houston's commitment to get him the ball in the red zone makes Davis the safest fantasy play on this team. | | WR | Andre
Johnson | Low #2 | The Texans claim that getting him more involved is the key to success. Time will tell if they actually get him more involved. | | WR | Jabar
Gaffney | Low #4 | Unless you're a relative or a part of the Jabar Gaffney fan club, there's no reason to play him on Sunday. | | TE | Mark
Bruener | Low #2 | Due to the woes of the offensive line, the Texans' primary tight end is primarily used as a blocker. | | TE | | PK | Kris
Brown | Low #1 | Expect some kicks. | | D/ST | ---------- | #2 | Though they won't give up very many points, the Texans' inability to get to the quarterback makes them a poor fantasy selection. |
Time & Date of this Update (PST): 13:58 on Fri Sep 23 2005
News: Resting and Regrouping
Fantasy Football Slant:
The Texans third week of the season is a bye. They'll need to spend this down-time regrouping offensively.
Time & Date of this Update (PST): 09:19 on Fri Sep 16 2005
News: Fear and Loathing in the Gulf: Week 2 for the Texans
Fantasy Football Slant:
As if the city of Houston didn't have enough to worry about, it looks like they might have an ass-dragging football team on their hands. Last Sunday in Buffalo, the Texans perplexed all of their fans by looking unprepared, out of shape, and overwhelmed. Second-year quarterback JP Losman, making the first start of his NFL career, looked good all afternoon. He controlled the clock well, he directed the offense when he needed to, and he dissected the Texans defense with little difficulty.
Not that he needed to. The Texans' offense, led by playmakers Andre Johnson, David Carr, and Domanick Davis, managed only 160 total yards all game. The Texans' offensive line looked terrible all day, preventing their playmakers the opportunity to make any kind of difference in the game. Things don't look good against the Steelers either, whose physical and aggressive defense figures to give the Texans as much of a headache at home as they had a week ago in Buffalo.
However, as ESPN's John Clayton reports, "this is the type of game Dom Capers usually shines in as a coach." Throughout his career, Capers has been known as a superior motivator, a man who knows how to get a team to respond to adversity. I'm not exactly sure that this history translates into a Houston victory, but the Texans should look good enough to make a game out of it, redeeming fantasy owners' faith in Texans players.
What to worry about:
1.) That swarming, rangy, fast, and physical Steelers defense:
David Carr will get killed if he isn't protected. Thanks to an endless supply of unworldly linebackers, the Steelers get to the quarterback better than anybody else in the NFL. In failing to address problems with a porous offensive line, the Texans quarterback gets got to more than anybody else in the NFL. You could call this matchup "the unstoppable force against the infinately regressing object."
2.) "Find a number and put your facemask in between 'em"
I don't know what to think about Willie Parker, but I know he looked like a world-beater last week. Willis McGahee looked tough against the Texans last week. The Texans need to make sure that week 1 was an apparition on both accounts.
Reasons for optimism:
1.) Big Ben's bum knee
Although he is an above-average backup, Tommy Maddox does not play the quarterback position at the same level as Ben Rothlisberger. The Texans secondary should be able to limit the damage done by Steelers recievers, and if they can stuff the run, they can control the ballgame.
2.) There's nowhere to go but up
Tom Coughlin's motivational experience bears repeat mentioning here. In 1996 his Jaguars turned a 3-7 start into a 6-0 finish, beating Buffalo and Denver on the road in the playoffs. Given how they looked in week 1, it wouldn't be too surprising if the Texans' locker-room shared the same feeling of hungry desperation that those Jaguars felt in week 11. Besides, these Texans have too much talent to look like they did for two weeks in a row.
How to play your Texans:
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Position-
- | -
Player-
- | Projected Fantasy Role
- | -
Comments
- | | QB | David
Carr | Low #2 | I said it last week and it's worth repeating: "until the O-line tells you otherwise, DO NOT PLAY HIM AGAINST A TOP 5 DEFENSE." | | RB | Domanick
Davis | Low #2 | Pittsburgh's run defense is tough, too tough to make this a safe pick this week. | | WR | Andre
Johnson | Low #1 | The Steelers don't really have a corner who matches up well against him. Could be an offensive bright spot. | | WR | Jabar
Gaffney | Low #3 | The Texans need him to get into the mix. | | TE | Mark
Bruener | Low #2 | Due to the woes of the offensive line, the Texans' primary tight end is primarily used as a blocker. | | TE | | PK | Kris
Brown | Low #1 | Expect some kicks. | | D/ST | ---------- | #2 | Though they won't give up very many points, the Texans' inability to get to the quarterback makes them a poor fantasy selection. |
PLEASE do NOT post to this thread! This thread is only to be appended to by Austin Patton.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 26th, 2005, 12:43am by Stegfucius » |
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If it came right down to it, I'd rather be Nick Nolte than Gary Busey.
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