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Topic: Emmitt Mentors on Pointlessly Prolonging Careers (Read 288 times) |
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Gridiron Great
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Emmitt Mentors on Pointlessly Prolonging Careers
« on: May 8th, 2004, 5:59pm » |
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Hey Steg - This is a good site for the Gridiron Newsstand. A humor section! Same site with the Archie Manning spoof.
http://www.thebrushback.com/
Emmitt Smith Mentors Young Players On How To Pointlessly Prolong Career
PHOENIX, AZ--Emmitt Smith has had a long and storied career. Now that it is winding to a close, the future Hall of Famer spends his days mentoring younger players on how to pointlessly prolong their own long-dead careers.
Someday, you will all be washed up like me, Smith told a group of attentive rookies at the end of mini-camp. Your longtime team will cut you loose, and you'll have to save face by going to a more pathetic team desperate for some star power to generate fan interest. It's important to go to that team immediately. Even if you know you're not starting, pretend like you think you're going to start. Then, when the coach tells you you're a backup, tell him it's no problem and you just want to do what's best for the team. This will make you look like a great guy and further cement your reputation as a class act.
Smith added that another way of displaying your unselfish, team-first attitude is to pretend to mentor the young player who is starting ahead of you. This works out well for both sides, as the young player will happily pretend to listen to you in order to display his own selfless attitude.
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| « Last Edit: May 8th, 2004, 6:34pm by Stegfucius » |
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