Take me back to this year's Trash Talkin'!
View the Best of 2000 Trash Talkin' View the Best of 2001 Trash Talkin'
Well guys the season just cant begin with some input from the Nation of Domination, thats right The Nation of Domination is back. Frak decided to get his own name, a name that more fits his personality The yeast infections..Great Name.. This is how i see the seaosn..It is really only between 3 teams, i mean lets get real. Steves team , Dave B team and of course The Nation of Domination!!Well I will give Dave T.. maybe a chance he always finds a way to ripping someone off to better his team and to competing.Right Hahn!!The rest of you are going to fight for the Toliet Bowl!!Frank I have to give you credit, not only did Payton Manning pan out for you it looks like Edgerin James will to. You have finally learned some drafting skills. I think Vic should take some notes on this, i mean Bert Emanuel!!Rob Murtha sorry about Trent Green that must really suck..Steve if you want to borrow Faulk for opening day thats cool i mean there is a good chance that THE BUS isnt going to play.. I especially look forward to our meeting. Yeah i know Carl Pickens is still picking his ass but i have a new stud..TROY EDWARDS. To go along with the best reciever in the league Moss and the Best Back in the league Davis oh and the best QB in the league Young.. Fellows its going to be fun... Owner Big Dan Feder The Nation of Domination!!!
Okay boys, it's time for StegRock or StegCock as you all will be calling me after you read this to speak. First, the nubian, Vic Fattore - I wanted to translate his team name into German so everyone could see his true colors. In German, his team name would be "Dirk Diggler's GameDORKS." Do I have to say anything else? Next, the "Nation of Dominatrices" (that's the plural of "dominatrix" for all you illiterates) and owner, Danielle, get ready to lift up that skirt, get whipped, take it straight up the pooper and get pissed on. Yeah, you were right when you said your team was one of the top three teams. Third that is! I have just two simple words for Pak and Gonzalez, our imports/foreign constituency (that means "group of dudes," Danny, The Illiterate), Dumb-n-Dumber, well, maybe 4 more - Battle for Last Place. Now a little message for Trout, that is if he has finally realized that he can't log onto the internet with his calculator from 1978. We have two more guys waiting to get teams in the GBRFL, Joey Galloway and Barry Sanders. Since they won't be playing the real game this year, they are interested in getting their own fantasy teams. In a way, next year they may actually be playing for you and against you, Dave -- well, no, probably not for you. Murtha, your team has more excess baggage than a two-bit 45 year-old French crack whore working in a low-end, red light district in south east Asia. As for Markie, apparently he still hasn't realized that the 1993 season is over. Markie, Markie, --oh, Markie, wake up, wipe off the goo from your "pelvic bone" and thighs, and stop riding on your laurels before Week 5 when your season becomes about rooting for a high lottery pick. Last and least, Mr. Bore her, in all seriousness, the success of your team this year hinges on the health of one player, Randall Cunningham. If he goes down, you go down (on me). Your team would take a "devastating blow" from Randall that stick fagged, and my team, being that I have Mr. George, would benefit via my quarterbacking situation improving even more. I say "even more" because you have already gone a long way in building my quarterbacks when you "gave" me Brett Favre, you idiot! I am... ...Done with you Morons, StegRock Owner, BLACKSmiths
I think that before the season starts, you all should hear a little trash from you DEFENDING CHAMPION. Danny, at least you have a little respect for my team this year, listing me in the top three is a compliment coming from you. Your problem is that your one lucky year sort of got to your head. But last year reality set back in. So get used to it. Steve, last year is over, so you don't have to keep making excuses for why my team won last year. Yes, I won a lot of games because of Randall and he is a big part of my team, but don't be so bitter about being a bridesmaid every year. After I win my third championship to your one, I may back off a little and let you win one. And I dont think Chandler, Herman Moore and Tim Couch for Farve is a bad deal at all. But we will see. Trout, the only thing you are legendary for is being the only person in the league besides the two new guys and Murtha never to win the league, or ever get above third place for that matter. Win something, then talk.
OH MY GOD!!! Look here, someone came out of the gutter to do some talking!!Is it the LA Clippers of basketball, the team who gets the #1 PICK EVERY YEAR and still comes in last place!!You know frank i sure hope you will start to win after all those picks you have. I got my ass beat to this week. I think trout did and Dave B did to..I mean come on guys its a long season. Yes i know you finally will see you name in first. I guess if i didnt see my name in like 5 years anywhere but the bottom i will be cumming all over myself to. All of you basment gutter teams, just relax. We can lose next week to and the week after that.But when it is all over like i said the same 4 teams will be on top!!!!I mean who really expects to beat The Nation of Dominations overall record of 17-4.The Nation of Domination!!
A poem for the Nation of 1-3,
(to the tune of Mrs. Robinson)
Goodbye to you, Mrs. Danielle Steele. Knowing that you suck must really blow. Whough, whough, whough.
What's that you say, Ms. Danielle Steele? Your team is 1 and 3 and that's .O.K.? Whatever you say. Whatever you say.
Sitting on your sofa on a Sunday afternoon. Cryin' in your hands after an INT. Look around you Danielle, things aren't bad as they may seem. You'll probably be 1 and 4 next week.
So here's to you, Mrs. Danielle Steele, run your lips and say that you've got game. oh, wough, wough.
God bless you please, Mrs. Danielle Steele. We all know your team is down the drain. You're really lame. Really lame.
Mark, Owner I.R.
I don't know who wrote the song but I'm going to be singing it for weeks to come. Thank you, mistery writer for that snappy little ditty. Now I will take DB's advice and thrash talk while I can. Who was it that made the bold prediction that the season would come down to three teams? I can't seem to remember. Well I think I may have seen two of those teams scraping the bottom of the GBRFL barrel. Is that the "allways the brides maid, never the bride" Blacksmiths sitting at the bottom with a ..GASP.....0-4 record. But look right above him, could that be ..YIPES..... the "scary, all powerful" Nation of Domination. What has become of this league when young rebuilding teams take over the top of the standings and the supposed front runners sit back and wonder what happened. At least the prediction may have been accurate. The league will come down to three teams this year. As always, all my love to the ladies in the cellar. Frank G. - Owner - Yeast Infection.
Holy hell!!!!Are you guys for real. You pussys want to say shit about me at least say your name!!It is my turn to talk!!Now,Frank you have some nerve to talk any shit!! You have made the draft for the last 4 years shit!! Take the #1 pick every year and come in last every year.You won by 1 point as I recall i beat you by a 50 point margin for the last 3 years, but thats the past. It is 2 weeks in the season and you idiots act like you have won the league. I know , I know you have more wins this season then you do for the last 4 seasons combined. I congradulate you for the progress you have made. I mean all of you GUTTER TEAMS have done one thing which is made this season more fun or competitive then the past. At least we hear from you now, enjoy it while it lasts.Hopefully now you all wont quit like you did in the past. As for you I.R. you are just going to piss away your team like you do every year.. I mean someone will offer you a few scrubs for your star player and WHHAMM, there you go to make the deal.. Its only a matter of time until you fall apart. Oh last is Dirk Diggers i take it up the ass game cocks.. Give me a break.. Yeah like the Detroit Lions are going to the super bowl!!!The tide will turn soon, we all know who the best teams are. For you Stegman come out of your hole and have some pride. Take your skirt off and stand up for your sorry ass team i am.. I still think i am going to win this thing.. For all the teams in first Frank..Going from first to worst is an easy process, dont you remember it was only like 4 years ago.. Well it will happen again.. Enjoy it for the next few weeks you all deserve it!! THE NATION OF DOMINATION!!!!
First, who wrote the fuckin' song? I like it, but as commish I must insist that you take credit for your trash talk or don't trash talk at all. Don't be a fagged and hide behind the computer screen. Next, for Danielle, I'm not talkin' trash because I know when to shut the fuck up. My team has done nothing on the field for me to back up with smack talk. However, since I am on the computer tappin' the keys anyway,...Mark, your days are numbered, and you know it...you don't even have a quarterback who plays...Vic, summer's over, and the four leaf clovers'll be dyin' out soon...you best go pick yourself a whole bunch this week, cross your fingers, convert to Buddhism and assume the proper posture because you are headed for one big nasty spoon session as your team heads south of the 5th place border...Finally, Francis, observing the bullets due to mismanagement you have avoided over the past two weeks, I am confident you'll find a way to fuck up your team somehow...Week 1 - you start the Chargers, who were off, while placing the Chiefs, your only other defense, on your drop list...Week 2 - you screw yourself out of a kicker...What's next? I think I heard Chris Darkins is back in the NFL! Oh no, he's hangin' out and smokin' weed with his buddies Dave Trout, Danny Feder, Barry Sanders and Joey Galloway. StegRock, owner "BLACKSmiths" and soon to have Byron Hanspard on his roster, has spoken.
Pardon me Stephanie Steg-last place lock, stock, and cock...could you come out of the basement for a moment? I have a question for you: have there been any Rod Smith sightings in Korea? I'm worried that his nagging groin injury is due to fucking you in the ass now for three weeks. It seems that your homo fantasy squad is mirroring your even more homo pro squad the Bumbling Broncos. Even John Elway has walked on the mile-high grass more than I suck big Rod Smith this year. By the way, speaking of brilliant line-up moves, great job picking up the Titans D and leaving them on bench; blowing your only chance to finally win a game. Sincerely, (1-0) against you (but isn't everyone though?) The "legendary" Flesheaters!
Ok I.R take the dick out of your mouth and get a real team name, i am sure once it is out of your mouth you can start saying full syllabols.Second i was wrong about galloway it will happen there is no rush. Yes i had a slow start but now with my new addition, The Buccs defense i am climbling up the later. Like i said you can have Glenn, he is a scrub he only looks good because Bledsoe(you remember him) by the way are any of the players that i traded you for Bledsoe still in the league??Moss and Davis will come out of there funk, Pickens is starting to as well so i have no worries. And Frank keep enjoying it, the luck will run out soon enough. And last Stegman, we all appreciate your hard work but if someone makes a mistake keep your pants on. Just because your team sucks worst then mine, doesnt give you the right to take it out on everyone in the league.Geess, i mean what do you expect pay a little more attention to your team and less time ripping everyone up for there mistakes and maybe you will get a win..Big Dan Feder Owner of The Nation of Domination!!
Sorry Vic, you didn't think you were doing to win every game, did you? Now that you got to play the CHAMP, you can settle into your team's usual losing ways. I would have beaten you by more, but before the season I gave away two of the best fantasy players, Brett Favre and Marvin Harrison, to Steve. If you look at his record, you can see that he needs them more than I. At least I got a team name out of the deal.
But don't worry guys, I will be okay. With lazy jackasses down at the bottom of the league (Pak) not picking up any free agents and allowing me to get some good scrubs like Mirer and Wheatly, I am sure that I will be able to, at least, compete. Good luck going for the consolation prize everyone.
To the melody of "Ten Little Indians":
9th little, 8th little, 7th little place...
...to be continued!
Sing that one Frankie boy! A little nightmarish foreshadowing, huh?!?! Who holds the longest winning streak now, boys? Could it be "A GASP," quoting Francis, the 3 and whatever "BLACKSmiths?" Just leave the man's work of beating the undefeateds up to me, boys. Markie, 3-0 going into Week 3, doh, only to meet the BLACKSmiths. Francis, a whopping 5-0 going into Week 4, BUT, lo', the BLACKSmiths crush that Humpty-Dumpty in that right column.
Now, I wanna' go back into the Trash Talk archives a little bit and do a little analyzing to the ones regarding trades made with the STEGROCK since the STEGROCK hasn't spoken in awhile. First, Danielle, how did Faulk's 7 for 6 performance do you this week in your 1 point loss to "Dick Dangler's Gamedorks." Jerome Bettis's measley 13 for 24 and "TEEDER" would have won you that game, you moron. Also, you always seem to forget that you gave me Tim Brown, too, in that trade, which brings me to Mr. Bore her, a.k.a. Mr. Alzheimer's. Finally, it clicks in! You didn't just give me Brett Favre! You gave me Marvin Harrison, too. I forget the exact pile of shit you claim to have received from me, Chris Chandler, Tim Brown, Curtis Conway and Tim Couch via the draft pick, but whoever those bunch of schmucks are they definitely don't equal the real #1 quarterback in the league (calm down, Francis, I know you are probably all up in arms because you have Kurt "Gus Frerotte" Warner) and the #1 receiver. Finally, Mr. "I'm in Denial" Trout, you keep on telling yourself that the "Big Names" for "Smiths" trade is working out okay for you. Let me recount the players you received - Jerry "Turn me over" Rice, Barry "Too Much, and Yet No PRIDE" Sanders and, oh, Isaac "I got the 'Flash in the Pan' throwin' to me" Bruce. On the other hand, I got me a passel of 1,000 yard black Smiths. And, D., I know you're really having a problem fighting your urge to aquire retirees, but don't worry about Jerry. As I said at the beginning of the season, I'm sure he has at least 2 or 3 more 650 to 800 yard, 2 to 4 touchdown seasons still ahead of him. Until next time...STEGROCK, Owner, BLACKSmiths has spoken!
Well, well, well. I thought it was getting a little too quite in the trash talk arena. Mr. Stegman has arrived with BIG talk while holding 3, yes let me recount 1,2,3.... yes it's definately 3 wins. Well he must have a huge positive points differential to talk such big talk. Let's take a look there....+7. Wait, that must be wrong, someone talking like him must be blowing people away. That must be 70 or 170. Let's check mine..... +159. Hmmmmm.... Well Steve it's nice of you to come out of your cave to do some talking, but let's get serious, your team might as well have Kathy Smith, Kate Smith, and Dr. Smith, "cause you aiint goin noware" as Big Dan would put it. Oh Rob, feel free to stop by for a beating any day, it's always a pleasure. I think you might want to get Jamal Anderson out of your lineup though. Let it go man, let it go. Mark, this week, I'm beggin, please don't start Jeff Lewis, Shawn Bennett, and Stoney Case against me. I want a chance for a seventh win. Well, that is all.....For now.... Frank Gonzalez Owner of the 1st place "Yeast Infection"
Francis, now you know how the rest of us have been feeling about your team for the past 6 years, take away 1 when you got lucky. "Francis, get that player out of your line-up! He's in the CFL. Francis, your #3 RB is Chris...who?" And, since you are evidently as illiterate as Danielle, let me elucidate the theme of my trash talk for you once more. The point was simply to illustrate that even though I am where I am in the standings with only "3" wins, I, nevertheless, hold the league's longest winning streak. Let me add that one of those MEASLY victories came at your expense, you putz. Finally, a little tidbit for Danielle, you lost by a mere 1 point, a "small" number which has "a lot" of meaning regarding your team last week. 1 is much greater than Marshall Faulk's yards per rush, as well as infinitely more than the total number of rushing TD's you recorded last week in your "1" "1" point loss. On the positive side, Gary Brown, that stud, caught 1 for 1, but as for TD's, he had n"one." "0," the other "big" number for you last week, as in the number of wins you got. StegRock, Owner BLACKSmiths, has spoken.
I have been out of town now i am back. First your rice sucker stegcock. Enough with that deal we made you got ripped off so feel it.. I mean Faulk with 181 rushing yds come on enough about that. The truth will be next week when we play. At least you relize which everyone else should also is that yes i lost 2 games thus far by 1 point each. I have Terrel Davis out and Galloway out, but yet i am still in the game. After this week i will be right in it after the beating DB and one of the gutter teams PAK i think took. Vic yes you beat me your team is FAR better then mine, i will give you your props. Frank you are hanging around a little longer then i thought. There is a long way to go. Everything will turn out the way it is suppose to. Owner Big Dan Feder The Nation of Domination
Now for the second and the, unexpected early debut of the beginning of the third refrain of "Nine Little Places Climbed" to the tune of "Ten Little Indians:"
...6th little, 5th little, 4 little place
...definitely to be continued!
Well, boys lookie likie lil' ole' BLACKness headin' for the top of the heap. Biggest jump in GBRFL/GBL history - from 7th to 3rd, unheardof, unprecedented! First up, --- Danielle, you are so timely with your negative commentary on the BUS, given he was my bread-n-butta' this week. So, Faulk has a good week. That's how he is. Some weeks he'll do ya' in the ass (7 for 6); others he'll do ya' righteously (18 for 181 and 1)! It's just a shame he can't do the 20 for 100 thing every week. You'll live and die with that unpredictable piece of shit all year. Next up, --- Francis, another timely speaker, talkin' "too little, too late" with 17 to 18 games to go. This week, pickin' up Wane McGarity. You're still the old Francis we have all come to know and love and disrespect reaching for straws. Last up, --- Mr. Bore her, speakin' of "crawling into a hole," why don't you and Mr. Trout go play "Wonder Twins" together and get "in the form of a sphincter ball" by sticking your head up his ass while he does the same and sticks his head up your ass and go role on down to the "bottom" or "asshole" section of our league where you can both wait to be shit out. STEGROCK, owner BLACKSmiths, has spoken!
How fitten this will be. Everyone note what steve has wrote just above me. I KICKED YOUR ASS STEGCOCK!!!! Just like i said to you friday, and i hope you saved it which was "How does it feel to go into Sunday knowing that you already lost"Nice Defense Baltimore had. You can have Farve and George. Oh, and i have to also say this, you would think that you would kill me in running backs, after all you take every free agent out there since you are always in last place, and all my backs are hurt but one which is who..FAULK!!! Take Bettis and suck his dick, after all Faulk is giving it to you up the ass!!! Big Dan Feder Owner The Nation of Domination....
Well, my hat is off to Mr. Trout. Your Running Backs AND Receivers absolutely kicked my ass. (But that's not hard to do). Luckily I was able to trounce the underachieving Couch Potatoes. Well I don't want to get wordy, I just wanted to say hi to just about everyone sitting in 'one game over 500" land. And oh yeah, you too Pak. Nice win this week. I hope it doesn't vaporize like it did last week. Good bye to all from Frank Gonzalez - Owner - Number ONE - First place every week this year - 200 points above next supposed competitor - best stable of quarterbacks in the history of the league - everyone chasing me for the Millenium Championship - See you in the Superbowl - King of the hill - top of the heap - Y E A S T I N F E C T I O N ! ! ! ! !
Does beating you by one point count as a win? Just wondering.
How about beating you by 20??? FG
Oooops! Excuse me! 35!! F.G.
After a short pause, on to the third refrain of "9 Little Places Climbed" to the tune of the "10 Little Indians":
9th Little, 8th Little, 7th Little Place...
6th Little, 5th Little, 4th Little Place...
3rd Little, 2nd Little...
...(to be continued after a short break!)
What was that..."You will live and die by that Piece of Shit (Marshall Faulk)!" Who said that? Oh, me, while I was getting off of that BUS I've been riding to the endzone 6 or so times in the last 4 or so games. That BUS may not be able to take you as far these days, but if you need to go once a week about 50 to 80 yards to the endzone once or twice, you can count on that BUS which has been running on time all season! Remember, MOUTHY, I got Tim Brown in that trade, too. You do have a BIG MOUTH, Danielle! Why don't you stop usin' it for talkin' and start usin' it for suckin' some big-BLACK-Smith dick? Moving right along, one of my other great quotes of the season noted that Dave Bore her's season hinged totally on Randall Cunningham and that I would benefit big-time when he went down. I just didn't realize it would be so timely, too, losing Plummer that same week! Mr. Pak, it's nice to see you are finally picking up free-agents. Now you just have to learn how to do it right. Vic, start plantin' that four-leaf clover patch A.S.A.P. Markie, start clippin' that weed A.S.A.P. You're gonna' need it. And, Murtha, start clippin' some of those sorry-ass players from your team and plantin' some new ones. Gonzo, the headlights may still be dim in your rear-view mirror, but don't look in it too long or closely or you may find yourself flying off (the) track and crashing. Trout, I'll leave you alone this week. I think Isaac's, Jerry's and Barry's combined stats as compared with Jimmy's, Rod's and Antowain's stats this past week along with me bringing it up right now is enough punishment. STEGROCK, Owner of the BLACKSmiths has spoken!
Well Danielle, it seems like we found out last week via the "Frank- I'm-in-the-F.B.I.-witness relocation-so-don't-bother-calling-to-trade-with-me-during-my-first-winning-season-since-dirt-was-new-Gonzalez" yeast feast, how fuckin' deep your swollen gash of a fantasy football squad really is...I mean come on..you've still got guys on your team that were dropped from official U.S. citizenship status weeks ago..........( I'm sorry I had to pause a minute I just realized I used two, three syllable words in one sentence on you..my bad! Well anyway now that the flag football season is over, you get Joey( no I'm not gonna spell his last name..you'll have to look it up) back for a week or so before he has to go back and run things at the family crack house...that's it for now Danielle; but please be sure to wear your hat this week after I shit down on your head from 3rd place...Love, the Flesheaters
Gee Sorry Trout, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings by not trading with you. I'll tell you what, you give me Billy Joe Jim Bob Hobert, Barry "I'm going home and taking my marbles with me" Sanders, and Jerry "Just fucking retire all ready" Rice, and I will give you a solid thrashing next time we play. I hope you like the view from third place, cause that's all you will see this year. By the way. When was the last time you won this league?? Was that before dirt was new???? FG
Eschuse me Senor Francisco finally winning for a change...it would seem rather appropriate in your ooooh I stepped in shit season to finally, after a myriad of blowouts, to justify your record by beating a team (mine for instance),that has thoroughly abused you for years....Guess I can't blame the whippin' boy for not wanting to trade with the master....By the way, Mr. Linton is joining me and Barry this week to watch the games; any idea how he takes his coffee? With love, your MASTA!
I'm not sure D., but if he's like the rest of Francis's players he probably takes it with a big gob of steamy goo! StegRock, owner BLACKSmiths, has spoken!
Looks like you boys need a big plate of sour grapes with a heaping side of green envy sauce. Start making out the plaque Stegman, you can drop it off the next time you stop by. With love from the soon to be crowned GBRFL Champion, AGAIN, Frank Gonzalez - owner - #1 Yeast Infection.
Hey Francis, good news! You only need to score 500 more points this year to offset last years negative total! Who woulda thunk it possible? The MASTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Francis, talkin' a little large there, big guy, sayin' how you are the "soon-to-be-crowned league champ" and that "I can drop the league plaque off to you the next time I drop by." Interesting, considering your season is just now at the 1/2 way point with that big 5-point win over the lowly I.R. (not to mention that 3-point thrashing you gave the last place "Pakmen" just a few weeks prior) and your defenses are about to start taking a nose dive right in my asshole. Just don't look in that rear-view mirror too long. Reality might just be a little too much for Thee, the Almighty owner of the "I'll take that with just a splash of chizz" posers, the soon-to-be Last and "Least Infection." StegRock, owner BLACKSmiths, has spoken.
I resent the remarks dated on 11/19 where my team I.R. was mentioned with the term "lowly". I will have you know that I have a winning record against The Nation of Flatulation. Therefore, anytime someone remarks about my poor performance this year, you must also include some mention of Danielle. I think it is only fair.
to all in the league
i'm finally able to access the trash talk page. i just wanted to say fuck you to all who have been talking trash about the Pakmen. i know that i suck this year, but i'm still doing better than the Cleveland Browns. and a little foreshadowing for next year. Colts anyone.
rob (the cellar dweller)
Well Stegrock, nice of you to speak your mind without letting any facts get in the way. I guess a record of 13 - 2 might be dangerously teetering on the edge of distaster, you're probably right on that count. By the end of the season I'll probably be very near the bottom of the standings. On count number two though, last time I checked the rule book, a win counted whether you beat someone by 3 or 40 (mostly 40 in my case..see standings +300 points). On count three, my Defense's next games include the Panthers, Saints, Cardinals, and 49ers twice. Not an awsome bunch you must admit. So as it turns out, once you look at the facts, you were only correct on the first count. I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it when I slip into last place with a... now let's be bold about it...a 23 - 3 record. Yes I'll probably lose one more, that's why they play the game you know. But until you ladies get some NFL players on your rosters...you don't stand a chance against ...YES! STILL NUMBER ONE! YEAST INFECTION.
Well Trout, a very impressive win this week, 83 points. Very impresive indeed. Against Pakmen that is. It seems MY lowly team only allowed you 8 miserable points. OUCH. Oh well, maybe next time. Please don't hate me because I'm unbeatable. p.s. to the Nation Of Humiliation - I kept the cellar warm for you for two years. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Stegman, come on boy, come on, you can do it. Good boy!! Your almost keeping up with THE YEAST INFECTION.
Boy, boys, boys... As I watch Donnell Bennett run all over the Raiders for yet another TD, his 7th of the season and 3rd (so far) over the last 2 weeks and realize we have teams playing 1, 2 or barely 3 RB's and absolutely sorry-ass ones at that, I want to puke all over my television and computer. Would one of you LOWLY-ASS MOTHER FUCKERS get with it?!?!? I, from 2nd place, picked up Ike Hilliard this week, who also had a formidable game this week ON MY BENCH, but could have been used by one of you cellar-dwelling idiots. Still, though, the likes of Troy Edwards, a guy having a solid rookie season and a potential future superstar, is laying out there. In lieu of those 3 guys (Ike up until this week), here are some of the low-lifes our teams have: Amos Zereoue, J.J. Stokes, Richie Cunningham, Doug Pederson, Glenn Foley, Ron Rivers, Lamont Warren, Courtney Hawkins, 49ers' D., Lawrence Phillips, Jeff Lewis, Stoney Case, Madre Hill,..............Jerry Rice. I'm surprised one of you schmucks doesn't have Andre Rison. I must admit I have Moses Moreno. But he's kind of a long-shot-to-show project of mine! I'd like to keep him, but it's obvious you guys don't want me to. I know a lot of you like golf, and I think fantasy football is similar to golf in many ways, 18 holes, 17 weeks, deciding on what clubs to use on each hole, deciding on what players to use each week, $30 fee - roughly the same, etc., etc., etc. Please show up at each "hole" guys, and stop using 1 or 2 clubs for the whole course! If you do so, you deserve the record you have and WILL end up with! StegRock, owner BLACKSmiths, has spoken.
Well, there's that third one I was talking about. FG
Well Stegcock, congrats on capturing second place yet again this year. If I remember correctly the coach tie-breaker was your fuckin' brainchild...that's just the kind of bullshit you needed to take me out! Pardon me while I reach for my tissues. Furthermore, I'm thoroughly enjoying the two-point conversion rule as well right now. F.G. I've got to admit, I hope you pull this thing out, I'm sure there can't possibly be enough room for Steglicks commentary on this website if he pulls this thing out of his ass....Mad as a mothafucka...Flesheaters!
WOW! Where to begin? Talk about a "big plate of sour grapes with a heaping side of green envy sauce." I guess it really does suck knowin' that yet another year in the GBRFL will go by without winning a championship or even breaking the 3rd place barrier for that matter, at least a season during which you didn't quit. Mr. "Sour Grapes," you make reference to your anger caused by my "bullshit" overtime victory over you, which is the perfect segway to my thoughts on Francis. Francis, do you have that same disease Danielle has? You know, that one---"Illiteracy." In one of your recent "Trash Talks" you say how your 13-2 record (at the time) was teetering on the edge of "distaster." It then dawned on me that you meant to use the word "distastful" because "you" go on to boast about "your" 3 and 5-point victories over the 9th place Pakmen and 8th place I.R. This is not to mention "your" 1-point victory over the Nation going back a little bit and "your" newly acquired 1-point victory over the Couch Potatoes. All of these victories were luck! And now "you" have "your" newly acquired fan, Mr. "Sour Grapes," who is mindlessly rooting for "you" primarily because "I" got lucky and beat him in a close one, too self-absorbed to realize that the closest victory "I" have had to this one was my 17-point win over "you," Francis. I think a break coming "my" way is fair enough after all those 20, 30, 40 and 50-point beatings the BLACKSmiths have been dishing out. Do a little research before you start trash-talkin' so you don't end up writing this internally inconsistent bullshit which exibits a lack of ability to objectively reason. Anyway, based on primae facia evidence right above, this couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, who obviously prides himself on losing with grace---NOT! Francis, why don't you and your boy there go for a little "Spoon" action under the bleachers for awhile to ease the pain each of you are and will be feeling 'cause there are two teams controlling their own destinies now!!!!! Did I mention the "Duplicity Bowl" you two have to play next week? "Sour Grapes," dishing out a loss to your girlfriend, Francis, that game could go a long way to propelling me, Stegcock, to a championship. These little contradictions just continue creeping up. Think before you write! StegRock, owner BLACKSmiths (1 of those 2 teams), has spoken---(right in your side-view mirror)!
Dear Dr.2nd place, let's not forget that there is a history to fantasy football, with that in mind, who has more league championships since you and I have competed in the same leagues? And before you go off pontificating with your overblown indoctrination of the English language that includes some irrelevant bullshit about how those leagues weren't competetive, refer to your trash talk from last week regarding the truely sophisticated transactions of this years bunch of "guru" owners! It must be incredibly competetive for you to face teams that submit lineups on par with most division III colleges. So Mr. pompous dickhead, please be sure to start waxing that second place trophy, pull your cock out of ass, and by all means, please let me know if I haven't used the correct literary tense in any of this writing! Yours truly, and still a better owner, Frank's girlfriend.
Now girls, there's plenty of me to go around. There doesn't need to be any biting or clawing on my behalf. Can't we all just get along?? - FG - "The peacemaker" aka "1999 GBRFL League Champion"
Wow, Mr. "I've never known anything but 3rd place in the GBRFL," you really are defensive of your little Latin honey there. I was commenting on his typo, not yours, but there you were swooping in and cumming on, I mean, coming to little Francis's aid. How cute! Finally, just a reminder, Francis, there are TWO teams who control their destiny regarding the Championship. I know that B.J. Mr. "Yappity-Yap" is giving you feels pretty damn good, but don't mistake it for the feeling of a league Championship. Well, then again, Mr. "3rd Place King" wouldn't know how that feels, so he couldn't give you a B.J. exemplifying that feeling. So, maybe it is simply delusions of grandeur on your part, Francis. You're in 1st Place, Francis, not Last, which, yes, you usually do have wrapped up by this time in the season. StegRock, owner BLACKSmiths, has spoken.
Well ladies and gentlemen, mostly ladies of course. Week 16. Do or die for the 1999 GBRFL Championship. Will it end this week? Let's hope not. I love the anticipation. Steg old boy, let the games begin. AND... May the best YEAST INFECTION win.
Franko, this is it, bro, Week 16. Can't trash-talk in this one. Just gotta' say, this is gonna' be somethin' else. We've both had a great run this season. It's a shame someone has to finish second, but I'll be very glad to pass that damn Bridesmaid's plaque over to you, my friend. I am...
...All Trash-Talked out,
Simply stated... The best YEAST INFECTION won!!
Hi Guys! I'm back from the land of the lost and find myself in the Land of the Losses! Way too many losses and not nearly enough wins. What did happen to my team this year? Maybe the appocolypse is upon us and that's why all my players are dissappearing into the land of the injured reserved. I can't say much other than that I did a shitty job managing my team this year, but I will be back next year. Frank, my congrats on winning the league this year! I'm glad that Steg doesn't get to talk crap about winning the league on top of the PFW article this year. We'd never hear the end of it. Do you guys really think a Div III team is better than mine???? -- Rob "Near the Basement" Murtha Owner DuCeS WiLd
Trout -- I must commend you on a beautiful FA pick up this week. Grabbing the forgotten commodity of Garrison Hearst. -- Murtha
Rob, thank you for your kind words in congratulating me on winning the league. Now, damn you if you jinxed me ala Dewey. There is still a chance, however small, that Stegman can pull it out. It's one of those mathematical things. I would like to take this opportunity to also complement Rob Pak on a great year. Don't take it too hard, it'll only feel that much better when you win te league. Between you and me Rob, don't bother to send in a lineup this week. Use this as a small symbol of your disgust at those that have belittled you all year. Dave, to you I can only say, you have the heart of a champion, a never give up attitude, and a winning spirit. Having said that, beat the piss out of Stegman, it'll be good for everyone.
Frank, buddy, you let me down here! I go out on a limb and show some comfidence in your ability to handle Stegman and win this thing and you drop the ball. Not only drop the ball, but 2 games in humiliating fashion. Now we not only are going to here about the PFW article for quite some time, but Stegs not gonna let this little morsel slip by without comment. I'm expecting an extra lenthy one on this topic, just to forewarn everyone. I probably would have been better off remaining quiet through the end of the season, but I wanted everyone to know I'm alive. But, this will not be the last time that I make a prediction, and I will not be kept silent. Out, but not down - Murtha
Well, well, well, AT LAST, which, by the way, was the place of one of the TWO teams who beat Mr. "I'll-just-have-to-grin-and-bear-it-when-I-slip-into-last-place-with-a...now-let's-be-bold-about-it...23 - 3-record (Frankie, ole' boy, I think you meant to write "slip up against the last place team), on to the third and FINAL refrain of "9 Little Places Climbed" to the tune of the "10 Little Indians":
"9th Little, 8th Little, 7th Little Place...
6th Little, 5th Little, 4th Little Place...
3rd Little, 2nd Little, 1st Little Place...
The job is finally done!"
Yours Truly, StegRock - Owner, BLACKSmiths, the 1999 Undisputed GBRFL League Champion, who didn't even hold the number 1 spot during any part of the year, 1999! WELCOME TO THE NEW MILLENIUM, BOYS! I'm your Y2K virus, Frankie!
"DEWEY WINS, DEWEY WINS!," wrote some moron from the New York News when, in fact, Truman was the victor (Danny, Vic, check out the History Channel, you'll be able to figure it out,--- I think). Any relation to that writer, Roberta? I know I got a little Truman in me, boys! And Francis, I know you got somethin' in you---some Steggy! And, what the fuck, you stated, "There is still a chance, however small, that Stegman can pull it out. It's one of those mathematical things." Well, here's some math for ya' presented in a similar fashion to the way Francis did Week 1, which as we all know, now, means dick: BLACKSmiths-55, Yeast Infection-0/BLACKSmiths-32, FLESHEATERS-14/(and, oh, gasp!)Pakmen-11, Yeast Infection-5 = BLACKSmiths 20-6, Yeast Infection 19-7 = BLACKSmiths 1st, Yeast Infection 2nd!!!!! Unofficial, of course, but how does that shit add up on the ole' calculator? Need not press that complicated square root/points differential button to figure that shit out, huh? Furthermore, Mr. "23 - 3", there'll only be one 20-game winner this year. Why don't I intoduce him to ya', or maybe we should let PFW do it! Naaaaa! The genuine, real-live, 20-game winner, (think of the WWF's New Age Outlaws as you read this) your G-B-R-F-L League and Super Bowl Champion of the Woooooorld, residing all the way in "What-the-fuck-is-a-football?" Chinkyland, South Korea, Steve Stegeman, a.k.a. StegRock, and his BLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAACKSmiiiiiiiiths! How does he do it? Simple-he's the "Real Deal!" Oh, and where oh where have all of Francis's little groupies gone, Roberta Martha and Ms. "Fishy"? Looks like your little chicquitta didn't "pull it out" or should I say "hold on to it tightly!" But, she did keep that 1st place seat warm for me all year long. Thanks, Francis! Oh, yeah, Francis, I'll make sure to drop that plaque off the next time I stop by just like you requested on November 18th. That's pretty uncanny, how you knew you were going to get the 2nd place plaque this year all the way back then!
What the fuck has this world come to when someone who OWNS the number one slot for 16 weeks straight loses the spot in the final week. Well give me a minute and I'll tell you. It's about playing the fucking season out to the full seventeen weeks when most of the real stars don't give a shit anymore or are sitting on the bench before american males in Korea give their first blow jobs at half time. By the way Stegamn what the fuck is that league champion AND superbowl winner bullshit spewing from your cum covered lips. There was no fucking superbowl, if there was I would be the league winner in week sixteen so don't try to add to your already tarnished championship. But I digress... It's about playing some second rate fucking owner who has Gus Frerotte as his starter even though he hasn't played a down in three weeks... and the fucking guy plays and has a career day because the starter hits his hand on a helmet. It's about playing running back who wouldn't start on a pop warner team but manages enough receiving yards to win that damn category. I don't know how many "strikes' this guy picked up during the year but I want him OUT!!! Foul tips count as strikes and he was as foul as you can get. To end this on a better note, YOU HAVE NOT HEARD THE LAST OF YEAST INFECTION. The new FFL dynasty stumbled in week 17 and it cost them the title, but they will be the team to beat for many years to come. Put that on your plaque Stegman. Keep it in a warm safe place (Not up your ass like the rest of your korean toys please) I will be claiming it in 2000. With love to you all. Frank Gonzalez - owner - The better team but they got screwed by the new schedule format and the fucking guy who starts players like Jim Brown, Phil Simms, and George Blanda and somehow manages to have them score points against me every damn time we played this year - Yeast Infection
Waaaaaa, Waaaaaa, Waaaaaa! It was mine! It was mine for 16 weeks! Give it back! Mommy, tell him to give it back! Waaaaaa, Waaaaaa, Waaaaaa! The rules weren't fair! Waaaaaa, Waaaaaa, Waaaaaa! Anybody can cry about the rules. Sometimes they work for you; sometimes they don't, but we all were playing by the same set of them! Hell, if we had played the old 15 week (not 16 week) schedule, who knows how the chips would have fallen. I am certain that if you played me more during that 17-1 stretch I had from Week 3 through Week 15, you would have had a few more losses, like the one time you did play me during that span. I invite you to do a little cuttin' and pastin' and see for yourself. You just got lucky that you played me Weeks 1 and 16, the two other weirdest weeks of the season. Just 'cause Kurt Warner was lickin' on Trent Green's knee, like an animal healing wounds, by half-time, don't blame the rules. You're the fool who played him. It's called depth, my friend, and you just didn't have enough to carry you through all "17" weeks. I DID! Don't complain to me about your Week 17 "Yeast Defections." Who had 5 1,000 yard backs? You had 2! Who had 5 1,000 yard receivers? You had 2, barely! Who had the #1 and #3 ranked defenses? Not you, but you did have 1 in the top 10, though! Okay, you got me 2 to 1 in 4,000 yard quarterbacks, but George was on that pace! Now, let me give you my account of what happened this past week. After Week 16 as this stupid, dry-cunt, chicquitta whore wandered the streets yet again prematurely celebrating her victory as (self-proclaimed) champion, an unexpectedly still pumped up and ready to go passle of black Smiths took her little yeast-infected ass out to the woodshed, beat her with a bat and left her for dead when, Ms. Pakman came in and had herself a little lesbo chow and ate her hole and whole, finishing off that "I-didn't-mind-the-adjustment-in-the-schedule-when-I-was-boasting-about-finishing-with-a-23-and-3-record" bitch, who is already making predictions for next season. Don't blame Roberta. Maybe it is you who is jinxing yourself. Oh, as for the Super Bowl thing, if you'd pry your over-inflated head out of Edgerrin's ass for a second and pay attention to the web site, you'd see that the 1st versus 2nd game was labeled the Super Bowl as I said it would be at the Summer Meeting. Even though it alone is not a very substantive title and is not, by itself, an award category, now and in the future it will be added to the League Champion's title if he, in fact, did win that game while going on to win the League Championship/1st Place. One last thing, without Craig Yeast on your roster, let's face it, your team name sucks, just like you. YOUR LEAGUE CHAMPION FOR THE NEW MILLENIUM AND YEAR 2000 SUPER BOWL WINNER, StegRock - Owner, BLACKSmiths HAS SPOKEN!!!!!
Wow! Reading really is fundamental! Thanks for a great year in the greatest FFL boys and girls. My new e.mail address is neverbetterthan3rdplace.fuck.com. Congrats to Steve and Frank on unbelievable seasons! Your buddy..Mr. Squishy.